I went camping not too long ago with some friends who had friends who came from Crockett, Texas. The Crockett contingent arrived first and set up like they were born to it. They had their footballs, horseshoes, cooktops and marshmallows all ready for action when we arrived. Now, these people are the salt of the earth, really friendly and sweet, but they are bored. Very, very bored. They come from a place which boasts the ever present Dairy Queen, a grocery store or two and one nightclub whose main décor consists of deer antlers and bottle caps. They are hoping for a WalMart to give them something to do on weekends. In the meantime, we found that the Crockett youth play a game (after the sun has gone down and playing horseshoes is no longer possible) called “Fuzzy Bunny.” This is a game of daring involving marshmallows. I’d never heard of this game before and wanted a full explanation, so I was treated to a front row center seat to observe and learn.
The game rules of “Fuzzy Bunny” are as follows:
Object: See who can stuff the most marshmallows in their mouth and still be able to pronounce the words “Fuzzy Bunny.” (Yes, really. I kid you not.)
Game play: Intoxicated youth sit around a campfire (or, in a living room) and take turns putting a marshmallow into their mouth. Then they say, “Fuzzy Bunny,” kinda like marshmallow roulette, and the play passes to the next inebriated young adult. (Between the cheek and gum is the most advantageous route, but anywhere is fine as long as you can still say “Fuzzy Bunny.”) Marshmallow suffocation and the inability to say the words on the first try disqualify each contestant. The person who can stuff the most marshmallows into their mouth and say “Fuzzy Bunny” clearly (as opposed to legibly), without choking to death or spitting out a marshmallow, wins the game.
Points of interest and other rules: It is illegal to play with previously used marshmallows because they have been pre-compressed and it’s considered bad form to steal marshmallows from deceased competitors. However, in the event that you run out of marshmallows in the course of play, it IS legitimate to play with previously used marshmallows, but it is still considered bad form to steal from the dead. One must borrow from a surviving player who hadn’t the talent to say “Fuzzy Bunny” with a mouthful of marshmallows.
You cannot pre-toast marshmallows. It is considered cheating.
I was spellbound. This is a game which should be shown on ESPN. If bowling can be shown on national TV, then why not “Fuzzy Bunny?” At least there is an element of daring and suspense with “Fuzzy Bunny.” Plus, it’s a fun thing to say out loud. These young adults took it very seriously and it was hilarious to hear them argue about the legitimacy of a competitor’s pronunciation so seriously, looking like chipmunks, gagging and trying to talk around their own faceful of marshmallows.
I do not recommend playing this game to any other youth, however, because it seems to me that the risks outweigh the rewards, just a little. (The reward is another beer, which could be had with or without the risk of asphyxiation. Also, I do not wish to be held liable for a “Fuzzy Bunny” related death, so folks, do NOT try this at home....)
But, Crockett kids are bored. They say that necessity is the mother of invention, but I think boredom may come in a close second. These people need a WalMart to keep them safe from harm. So, if you need something to do and are bored yourself, you could always petition WalMart to build another store in Crockett, TX. The Dairy Queen just ain’t doing it for these poor souls. They need your help. (Also, I have WalMart stock….)
Take care, be happy and Fuzzy Bunny to you all,
Addendum: I have since been informed that, not only does Crockett already HAVE a Super Walmart, they also have an HEB and a nightspot that has great live music. (The Camp St. Cafe & Store...don't know about the antlers.) They probably even have a McDonald's. Drat. I've been caught. Perhaps they need a full scale mall to keep them out of trouble. (Yeah, right, malls keep kids out of trouble.) Well, in order to not have to re-write my ramble, or scrap it entirely, I'm going to pretend that these folks were from Point Blank, TX. I know that Point Blank does not have a Walmart and that they DO have a little hole in the wall with antlers all over the place. I'm sure "Fuzzy Bunny" is played there, too. So, I went camping not too long ago with some friends who had friends who came from Point Blank, TX.....
Ah, I do so Love poetic license.... =)
(c) Copyright 2001, April Kelly